So I have decided that as this blog is my own invention I will post things that are close and personal to me as I find it interesting to see peoples reactions and more than a little cathartic. I will try however to avoid talking about private matters that involve others. While I may moan about my own shortfallings in the relationship, which to be sure there are enough... I will avoid moaning (too much) about my other half...as it's just not loyal. I will also try and avoid talking about things that affect others who haven't given their consent to be written about.
With my privacy code in place, I am going to move away from what is really weighing on my mind and move onto my birthday.
In 20 days I will turn 25. There are a few reasons I am less than happy about this.
1. Seany is 26, when he turned 25 the amount of grief I gave him was unreal...karma baby :(
2. I am now truly in the gay no-mans land. I am not a twink nor do I look like one, and I certainly am not a daddy...I'm neither of the 2 main groups young guys are attracted too...it's the gay death
3. It means I have to have an actual birthday.
Now I have slight hangup about birthdays. When I was young (cos I'm old now see) my family didn't celibrate birthdays. All of my friends would thunk this was horrible as next to Xmas (another day left unmarked) this was the best day out there. It was a day where everyone showed what you meant to them (I wonder if people get hate mail on their bday?!?)
So when I moved over and went to some parties I could see it. I finally understood, and yes for some it's an excuse to get the things Santa didn't bring, for others an excuse to get wasted. But for most it's a celebration of getting through another year and people showing they are glad you have.
The last 2 parties I had over in London all went... Well dismally. One was instrumental in my relationship breaking up the other... Well the excuse "I can't a boys coming down for sex" was used.
So now my view has reverted back to "it's just another day". This doesn't bother me so much, admitadly I would love the big party but I'm realistic. However when I tell others this, the shock, it's like I kicked a puppy. So now i have to work out what to do, for them...I'm still a fan of running off somwhere and hiding, or maybe getting all my enemies together for a fight, that could work
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