Faith is

Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld... Or something like that. It used to be a phrase that was touted to me on a regular basis.

I was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness. I was brought up in faith of one God, his son who had given his perfect life for mankind and that a time of reckoning was soon going to be on us.

I had this faith up until I was about 16 when a series of events left me feeling unloved by god and logic dictates that if there is no love between God and his worshipers, then everything else must be a lie too.

Part of the events that lead me to turn my back on Christianity was the awakening of several ESP like abilities. So like anyone I freaked first then thought well if Christianity won't have me, paganism will.

Up until recently I've had a lot of faith in Paganism, not in the fact there are fairies around us or that at some point Ghaia will be making a reappearance. But it was nice to feel connected, to feel rightly or wrongly that you could extend yourself out into the ether and touch something special.

When I was a witness, I had such strong faith. I never planned for old age because everyone knew the apocalypse would be on us soon. At some points I had blind faith and it was blissful.

But now my feelings of faith in paganism seem to have deserted me slightly, it may come back it may not. And while it was never blind faith it was good. The belief that there was something else almost tangible, that you were special, it was like a safety blanket.

There are those that pity those with faith, I don't. Faith and religion have caused huge wars and atrocities and yes can give blinkered viewpoints.. But it also gives millions comfort hope and a tiny boost in their day to day life.

So until something happens to my faith i will remain alone in a sea of apathy